Times are tough all over. Words like 'recession' and 'depression' roll off the tongue casually with disdain and quiet fear. Then, just when the world seems a grey as John Steinbeck's dust bowl, the governor of Kentucky steps in with all the flair and drama of "The Great and Powerful" Oz. His Technicolor creation of 900 jobs is pretty amazing....I would even go so far as to say confounding. And I love it.
An Ark? Really? I wonder, did Morgan Freeman put this bird in the governor's ear? How does one propose this idea without coming off a little bat-shit crazy? I would have loved to have taken that conference call.
"Hey, I have an idea to give this community 900 jobs....its a bit out there, but just hear me out. Let's build an Ark, you know, to scale like Evan and Noah."
*insert crickets chirping here*
"Hello, you there....Look, I get it. This sounds a bit melodramatic, but c'mon...what better way to serve both the hopes and fears of the public. Those whose cup is half empty will help build this Ark to ensure themselves a seat when the flood hits. Those whose cup is half full will help build this thing to instill a bit of glad tiding and cheer to the sullen masses. Wave your Louisville Sluggers folks, this is a home-run."
*insert gulp of The Fear here*
"And why stop with just an ark? Let's go all the way. A Biblical Theme Park, has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? If we build it, they will come, right?"
Kudos to him for pulling this off almost under everyone's radar. Think of how spectacular this could be.....
Surf the Tide as a 20 ft tall replica of Chuck Heston's Moses parts the Red Sea.
Dodge the smoldering hailstorm of fire and brimstone as we twist and turn through the corkscrew of a falling Tower of Babel.
Scream with orgasmic delight from our bungee cords as we free Fall From Grace on the appropriately named Lucifer's Drop.
Hunt the World's first Zombie with interactive gun-play(i.e. laser beamed AK-47's) in Lazarus's Tomb.
Seriously, I could do this all day....I for one, will be buying a ticket to ride come opening day.
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